I used a new-to-me photographer for Andrew's 1 year photos, and I'm in LOVE! Jennifer of J.Lyn Fotos is freaking amazing, reasonably priced, laid-back, and the FASTEST turnaround time in the history of ever. (Heads-up, her business Facebook doesn't have anything from this year posted. She basically just puts teasers up on her personal page. Both are linked.) She does all sorts of photos, but I'd seen thousands of cake smashes of hers and opted to message her. She's a freaking cake smash pro, guys! Seriously, I can't sing her praises highly enough. Anyway, here are some shots from Andrew's session.

The viewing for Grandpa Hadfield was Sunday, February 21st at their church building. We met early to help set things up and for the grandkids to rehearse the song medley we were going to sing for the funeral. Brian and Melody graciously opened their home if anyone needed a break or needed somewhere else to take their kids for both the viewing and funeral. The also provided dinner for the family on Sunday. Those Hadfields sure make for an awesome family :D

Grandpa's kids sure did an amazing job with the display. It was definitely apparent Grandpa's many skills, talents, and passions. He lived a full life.


The funeral was Monday, February 22nd. We started with another viewing. We just hung out while the siblings greeted people. Then we moved to the chapel for the service. It was rather eventful. Grandma wasn't doing so well. We actually called 911 and they took Grandma to make sure she was okay. Mostly the stress of everything and then not eating well took its toll on her body. She was okay, though.



After the funeral, we headed to the cemetery to lay Grandpa to rest. It is also the cemetery where Matt's stillborn brother, Joshua, is buried, so we visited his grave as well.


After a lot of family and such a tender time, we wanted to still keep our family close. What turned into a couple siblings over for pie turned into the whole family joining us for dinner, pie, and FHE Monday night as well. It was good to hang out with them all a little more, even though it wasn't anything "special" per se. Hanging out with family is what makes anything special. 

We had tickets to go to the Provo City Center Temple open house on February 20th. We were going with Jason and Camile. We were supposed to go through the 3:15pm tour, but that did not happen. Holy people, Batman! It was like 4:15pm or so I think by the time we went through. Fortunately, my kids were pretty well-behaved. At least during all that waiting, we got to watch a fun little movie on Aunt Camile's phone....that told us we're getting another cousin! Woot!

It was fun to tell Henlie about our experiences with the old Tabernacle. I also loved the elements they were able to save and reincorporate into the new temple. Going just three days after we lost Grandpa was especially poignant as we could talk to Henlie about sealings, being a forever family, and the Plan of Salvation on a very applicable level.



Fun story in relation to this awesome teaching moment. As we were leaving the temple grounds, we were talking about how one day, Grandpa will be resurrected and will live again and the same will happen to us after we have died. It's been a little too long for me to remember the entire exchange, but Henlie said, "That's weird." haha I just told her, "Welcome to being a Mormon. We're a little weird." :) It is true, though. Compared to the rest of the world, we're a little weird. But that's okay :)


I'm so grateful for the temple and the opportunities we have to be together as families for eternity. I am grateful for a loving Savior who provided the atonement for us so we can have a means of returning to our Heavenly Father and our families again. I am so grateful for my family and the strength, support, and love they give. We truly are blessed to have so many temples around us here in Utah. Thankfully, the rest of the world continues to get more and more temples closer to them as well.  The Gospel is true and we have a Father in Heaven who loves us very, very much. Our big brother, Jesus, truly did come to earth to provide the ultimate example and offer Himself as sacrifice to atone for our sorrows, pains, afflictions, and sins. I don't partake of His gift like I should, but I know as we try to do better each day and repent when we fall, He will have grace sufficient for us all.

On Monday, February 15th, we were able to take the kids up to Murray to say goodbye to Grandpa Hadfield. Being Monday, it was Family Home Evening. Larry and Carrie were taking Jennifer back to school in Ephraim and had sung the Family Night song in the car and suggested someone sing it to Grandpa. Since we were heading up for family night and Kevin and Karrie's family were heading over for their family night, we both said we'd sing it to him. 

We talked with Henlie a bit on the drive up about what was happening and what was going to come in the near future. She was pleasant for most of the drive. I told Matt I'd never been in this situation before, knowing someone is going to die and having a chance to say goodbye. When my mom died, it was unexpected. I've known of others dying, but no one I was close to. I was emotional and a bit anxious as we headed to the hospital.

We got there at the same time as Kevin and Karrie, so we all headed up together. Melody was just passing the torch to Laurie, so we chatted with them a bit. Grandpa was napping, but Kevin woke him and we all went in to visit for a bit. By this point, Henlie (who probably had fallen asleep in the car, but I don't remember, really), did not want to be there. She didn't want to sing to Grandpa (even though she knows the song). She was having a rough time and Matt had to take her for a walk once or twice because she was throwing fits.

I'm really glad Kevin and Karrie were there at the same time. I didn't have to speak :) We visited a bit and then I told Grandpa it was Monday night. He said, "What are ya gonna do about it?" I asked if we could sing the Family Night song, so we all sang. Sort of. It's hard to sing while crying. It was a special time. After we sang, Grandpa bore his testimony. He said, "There is a right way to go." He thanked us for coming and reminding him of that.

I think it was Kevin who asked Grandpa if there was anything we could do for him. He told us what we know he had told others who'd asked the same (thanks, GroupMe!). He told us to be happy. Love one another, and be kind to each other. 


We took some pictures with Grandpa and then headed home. Turns out we parked right next to Kevin and Karrie :) We chatted and then got in our respective cars. The difference in feeling was stark. Going up, I was so sad and anxious. Heading home, knowing that was the last time we'd see Grandpa alive, I felt peace. It was an interesting feeling. 


I'm so grateful things worked out so we could visit with him on Monday. If they hadn't moved him until Tuesday, we wouldn't have been able to go up until evening, if at all. And, as mentioned in the previous post, we wouldn't have been able to interact with him really. It was a very tender mercy that we were still able to go up Monday. 

Grandpa's influence will be felt for the rest of our lives. And as we sing the Family Night song every week, we will carry a bit of him with us and into future generations. We love you, Grandpa.

Originally this was just going to be some thoughts and feelings after we visited with Grandpa in the hospital, but time passed and I didn't write, so now it's going to be an overview of events.

January 27th around 10:30pm, Matt's grandpa, Carl Hadfield, had a heart attack and ended up in the new Mountian Point Medical Center in Lehi. He had surgery and had two stents put in. He had another heart attack while in the hospital and went back into surgery on January 29th. Both of the new stents were blocked. They placed new ones and a couple of others. Apparently Grandpa's veins were very enlarged. There was one place they couldn't fix, even if they would have had leg stents. However, I guess it was in the one place that if you're going to have failure, that's the place to have it as it's less important than the rest of the heart? Anyway, we were blessed in that regard. The enlarged arteries were to blame for the clotting because the blood couldn't move through the veins efficiently.

Our family has been pretty amazing through all of this, utilizing our GroupMe group to keep everyone informed and to coordinate visits and care for Grandma and Grandpa. Melody (Matt's aunt) shared something that I have found important. It is below:

On a personal note, dad looks much better today and he and mom expressed that they have had peace since the blessing and felt that he would come home and have more time with us. That was their feeling. Just wanted to share that. I hope that is appropriate to share. Love you.

While Grandpa's heart was doing a little better, he still wasn't feeling great and hardly had any appetite. When he did eat, he had a hard time keeping it down. However, he did get to go home the evening of February 3rd. From the GroupMe updates, I think Grandpa felt a lot better being back home and getting to shower and sleep in his own home. Grandma even gave him a haircut on February 5th :)

To me, this was a fulfillment of that personal revelation Melody shared. He did get to go home and have more time with us. However, that time was short-lived as on the evening of February 6th, he was heading back to the hospital, this time the Intermountain Medical Center in Murray. His blood pressure was low (they think that was a reaction to some of the medications he'd been put on), his kidneys weren't doing great, and he had terrible pain in his arm. They admitted him to the ICU. All of the life-upheaval wasn't helping Grandma, either. Around this time, she didn't want anyone to come over, save for Melody. I think that made it harder on everyone, too.

They found Grandpa had cellulitis. The infection had made its way to his blood stream. He was put on antibiotics and was expected to stay for 3 to 5 days to finish the course of antibiotics through his IV. They found infection in his elbow, so Grandpa had to undergo surgery again to clean that out.

We got some not great news on February 10th. I'll copy down what Brian sent in GroupMe.

They said that he has acute kidney injury as well as acute liver injury. The sepsis is now in the stage they cal septic shock. I looked it up: “septic shock, when blood pressure drops significantly. This can lead to respiratory, heart, or organ failure and death.” They did seem surprised that dad is as alert as he is, with this kind of sickness. Melody says he is more “with it” than he has been for a few days, even making lots of jokes. But physically he is probably looking a little worse.

They have some blood work in progress right now, but they will not have the results until tomorrow. That should tell them whether the organs are getting better or worse. I do not want to alarm anyone, I just want to make everyone aware of what’s happening. Melody asked the doctor privately what he thought, and the answer was that it really could go either way in the next couple of days. 

The doctors were still trying to find the source of the infection as the bacteria continued to grow, even on antibiotics. On February 12th, Grandpa got a feeding tube as he still wasn't eating. The doctors found abscesses in his back and the different doctors consulted on which area needed to be focused on first (his kidneys, his back, or the bleeding he was experiencing).

February 14th, Valentine's Day and also Grandpa and Grandma's anniversary. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Grandpa called all of his kids up to the hospital to chat. He was facing dialysis and more drains being placed (he already had a drain in his elbow). Mom and Dad left church to drive to Murray. After their meeting, Dad texted us to tell us Grandpa decided to go on hospice. He was done. He had no regrets and was ready to return to his Heavenly home. Dad shared the doctor's estimate of four days. Grandpa was still in the ICU, so no one under 12 could go visit him. They talked of moving him to a regular room on Monday. 

Monday, February 15th, was also a holiday, so Matt had the day off. We waited for word they had moved Grandpa so we could take the kids up to say goodbye. We got word that the hospital was full and they may not be able to move him until Tuesday. Thankfully, he was moved Monday evening and we headed up. I'll write more about our visit in a separate post. Earlier in the day, the doctors suggested staying on his blood thinners as long as he was able, and then just pain and anti-anxiety medications as needed. When they told this to Grandpa, he replied, "Who has anything to be anxious about?"

Brian told us later that he took his kids up early Tuesday morning to say goodbye and that he was glad he did because shortly thereafter, Grandpa stopped responding as he was preparing to return to his Heavenly home. Melody commented in GroupMe that there was a sacred feeling in his room. 

Matt's Mom, Carrie, went up Wednesday, February 17th, to spend the majority of the day with Grandpa. That morning, Matt's Dad, Larry, called me at 10:26am to tell us that Grandpa had passed on and asked if I'd let Matt know since Matt was at work. It was sad, but it was okay. We knew it was coming. We had time to prepare and to say goodbye. We knew Grandpa was ready and that he was getting to be with Grandma ReNae again.

Carrie detailed her experience in the GroupMe chat:

I was with dad when he joined the angels. He was snoring away and the nurse came in to turn him a bit. She brought some Vaseline for me to put on his dry lips . I did that and was talking to rick Haney about dads influence in our lives. My hand was on dads shoulder. The snoring stopped. He swallowed once and that was all  No jerking , no sound. Just peace. We waited afew minutes and then callled in Jamie. She confirmed that we were right, he was On his way. A good spirit was in the room. Just peace

That night, Brian and Melody hosted a wake of sorts with popcorn and ice cream in Grandpa's honor. There were lots of tears, but lots of laughs, too. We recounted stories and discussed what would be talked about at the funeral. It truly was a celebration of Grandpa's life. And like all of our family get-togethers, we shared the most memorable of Grandpa's family home evening lessons and sang our Family Night song.

Grandpa, we love you and miss you, but we know you were prepared. We will do our best to be happy and live so that we may be with you again. 

For a few years now, I've had an idea for a Valentine's Day banner to put on our balcony. One day while shopping at Walmart, I found some laminated burlap sheets and thought they'd be perfect to use, so I bought them ;)

When I finally got around to making my banner, I noticed the burlap sheets showed them being printed on. Originally, I thought of making a heart stencil with my printer and then painting the burlap, but after noticing they could be printed on, I changed my tune a little. Using Photoshop Elements, I made a template of the banners. I fit two on a sheet. Then I also placed a large heart on them. I think printing made it even better because I could use the measuring tools and make sure the hearts were in the same places and the banners were the same size. After a test, I printed out all of the burlap sheets.


Then it was time to cut! I'm so glad I included a template of where to cut the banners. It made this step really easy. :) 


I left an extra inch on top so I could fold the burlap over my twine. To make sure I got them all folded over the same, I used a handy-dandy tape measure and my iron to make a crease of where the twine would end up.



My banners were 5.5 inches across, so I had to hot glue them to my twine in sections. I found what worked best for me was to run a quick line down the crease of the flags and use that to stick the twine in. Then I ran hot glue in a zigzag under that to lay the rest of the seam over. 


I was also fixing some of Henlie's hair bows, which worked out perfectly. I used a hair clip to show where I needed to lay the next flag. Our railing is 10 feet across, and I ended up leaving a flags' width between flags on the twine. This actually turned out super nice since it let me fold the banner up easily for storage.


I think it turned out super cute. It's exactly what I was hoping for. I do want to get some sealant next year, probably, just to make sure the hearts stay put in the snow, but for this year, it worked out great :)